Sarah and JoJo, Best Friends for life!! 

It's official it's a CRIME!!

Well, it's official...I signed my teaching contract for next year. I'm truly more than a sub now.
I read a book not too long ago saying that teachers should stop complaining about their pay. I'm not sure what the guy who wrote that was thinking.

I have to say that going into my first year of "real" teaching (horror the thought that the ten plus years that I have taught preschool or home schooled should count as "real" teaching) has gotten me thinking a lot about what I will be paid. And I must say...teachers salaries are a crime!

This is not my opinion based on what I am being paid. I'm okay with it. But let us stop for just a moment to ponder the reality of the life of a teacher. Teachers are professionals. They come with a minimum of a four year degree. On top of that they have to have some 30-50 college units to be certified. Every year, depending on the state, they must continue their education with more units. They must also must be background checked and given clearance to work in the school environment.

They are then let loose, some with vast amounts of experience, training, and guidance, and some with absolutely none, to raise up the next generation of doctors, lawyers, and politicians... to name but a few. In many cases they have complete freedom to interpret state "standards" and create grades based on what knowledge and imput they have. There is a TREMENDOUS amount of responsibility and trust bestowed on teachers everywhere.

It is true, teacher salaries are fairly within the middle class range. This is a fact that I do not debate. I won't even begin the arguement of how much teacher's spend of their own money to make their classrooms workable environments. What I will argue is that I think a teacher's job is on level in responsibility and trust, with education levels and investment, with that of a great many professions where the respect is greater and the pay is more commensurate to the job performed.

I don't say this because I am a teacher looking for a raise. After choosing to teach for the past nine years for free, what I am making now seems like a fortune to me. But as a parent, with the knowledge equal to that of an imbedded reporter, I think my kids teachers deserve better.

It's definitely something to think about.

Memorial Day

Yesterday was a day set aside to remember.

To remember those who have gone before us, fighting the good fight so that our country can remain free. Because freedom, in all it's glorious splendor, is never free.

I have only known one soldier that went to war. He made it through Desert Storm and is a pastor now. He has a wife and kids. I am grateful to the time he gave for his country.

But as I sat pondering Memorial Day my memories flooded in another direction. To thoughts of a little boy. One who has never experienced war. He never experienced pain. At least I hope he didn't. He never experienced life outside the womb.

He was my son. He is my son. I named him Isaac. I was still in my first trimester of pregnancy when I lost him. It is only in my heart that I even know for sure he was a boy. He would have been four years old this past February.

I was told I was "lucky"....I lost him early. I was told it was "good" that I had other children already. I was looked at like I was insane that I grieved the loss of a fourth child. But I didn't feel "lucky"...and nothing about it was "good." It's been four years and I still grieve. I can think about him without crying now...but I still think about him. I wonder what he would have looked like (although I suppose he would have looked just like all his sisters and brother, we only have one mold in our family!) I wonder what he would have been like. I think about him everytime my sweet precious Sarah Joy says or does something funny. And I remember that without his loss, we would never have had her.

Out of the ashes rose a beautiful little blond song bird. And for that I am very grateful.

Life is precious.

Even a very short life.

I long for the day I will hold Issac in my arms in Heaven.

For now, I will hold onto the promise, and I will remember.

A Reminder from the emergency broadcasting system...

I was reminded by a phone call from my mother that I haven't written anything in quite sometime...pretty much since I started working.

I can tell you why that is...my life right now pretty much consists of get up and dressed in the morning...rush around trying to get four kids ready and out the door by 7:15 AM...oh, and fed, most of the time...then I get on the freeway so that I can drive 35 min to go 15 miles because the traffic SUCKS...drop all the kids but one off at my best friend's house where they are staying while I work since they are done with school for the year (lucky dogs!)....then Abby and I rush off to school...I start my day trying to teach something to a group of 20 nine and ten year olds who think their sole duty in life is to tattle on each other and tell me how things are "supposed" to be done. Then, if I am lucky and not cornered by a well meaning (or not so well meaning) parent before 4PM I leave to pick up my kids drive home, make dinner, get them bathed and in bed by 8PM do a load or two of laundry and fall, exhausted, into bed....to begin it all again the next day. Somewhere, tucked into the cracks of that crazy schedule I go to the chiropractor's, go grocery shopping, throw my children's birthday parties (there have been two since I started this job), grade papers, plan lessons, and wonder if I actually will have a job next year since I STILL haven't been given a contract yet.

That doesn't sound very positive does it? There have been moments...beautiful moments, like the day that all of my students turned in ALL of their assignments. Like the times when my three year old and I had a conversation about the fact that I have a four day weekend off this weekend. It went something like this...

"Momma, you work today?"
"No, sweetie, I have today off, and tomorrow, and church day, AND the day after that..."
"Cause that's when I miss you...when you work"
"I know honey, but we have the next four days we can be together all the time"
"Oh my JOSH! I love my Josh...can we see Josh? "
"Honey, I'm sure we'll see the Nations' this weekend..."
"When you go to work?"
"No honey, I don't have to work this weekend"
"Oh, okay...."

And with that I'm off to do another load of laundry, grade a stack of papers and make sure I have clothes to wear to work tomorrow...the weekend is almost over...As Abby has informed me....only 9 more days to go.

The Wonderful World of Teaching

I'm not sure if there are even people out there in cyberland reading my blog...so I write to myself as I write to you who might be reading. It's been a long time since I have posted anything here. That's because I've re-entered the workforce after 10 some odd years of being a stay at home mom. At the very least it has been an interesting change. The working part isn't hard, I'd say in many ways it is easier than juggling a two year old, trying to get all my housework done, and living the life of a stay at home mom who is never at home. Now I just don't do my housework. Period. I'm lucky if I get a load of laundry done each night...and trust me, with four kids, one load a night is not enough. Dinner has become whatever I can scratch up in 15 minutes...or the local drive through de jour. I have a lot of respect for working moms who make it work because I haven't figured it out yet. It's only been two weeks.

I do miss my kids. A lot. I don't see them very much right now. But I comfort myself with the fact that next year they will be with me at the school I'm working at and I will see them all the time. Except Sarah...<<>> She is getting the short end of the stick in a lot of ways...but we simply can't stretch the money any farther...we truly have cut everything but the barest essentials out of our budget. Pray for my Sarah that she'll come out of all of this okay in the end. That she'll never question that I love her just as much as any of the others. I can't wait until she's old enough for Kindergarten so she can come with me too. By then, Bethany will be in Jr. High school....I won't ever get to have them all with me at the same time.

So now I am a teacher.

Okay, so now I have the title teacher. I have always been a teacher. But other people are now entrusting me with their children. That's a truly amazing thing when you think about it. I hope I live up to their trust.

Come blog with me as I enter the wonderful world of teaching.

Easter Sunday

We left California right after church on Sunday, steeling ourselves for the six hour drive home to Arizona. Our trips are usually pretty uneventful. Our children travel fairly well and don't usually complain much. This would be a typical trip like the many we had taken before...we would be home by bedtime.

Or would it?

Somewhere just outside of Indio, right near Desert Center, where the two lane highway that is the I10 cuts through the desert like a knife, a tanker truck crashed. Witnesses say that the truck was swerving for quite awhile before it crashed. The truck caught on fire. Witnesses say some people tried to rescue the driver. I never did get a reliable source of what really happened and if any other vehicles were involved despite multiple internet searches. I heard there was one fatality. I assume it was the driver of the truck but I don't know that for a fact. I assume he died in the crash or pursuant fire but he could have had a heart attack before that causing him to swerve and crash. It seems like a pretty important story to me, and yet it barely made the local news. Someone died this Easter Sunday and it barely made the local news.

Do you think the news of Christ's death on the cross would have made the news if it happened today? Would there be protesters lined up in scores begging the government to change their minds? I'd like to think so, but that wasn't the case then and somehow I don't think we'd do much better now. Three days later the angels appeared to the women at the tomb with a question. "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!" That terrible death so long ago did not end up in the local news but instead became the Good News...Christ has conquored death, what is left to fear?

We ended up sitting on the freeway for over an hour. I found myself praising God for the blessed invention of a DVD player that works in the car! People were out of their cars, talking to each other, calling people on cell phones trying to find out what was going on. They were seeking the truth about what happened.

How ferverently do we seek out the Truth? The truth of God's Word, of His amazing love for us, of His grace and His Mercy? Don't stand out on the highway looking for a truth that you may never find, even with internet search engines...Look for the Truth that conquers death and brings you life, just as He did so many years ago on Easter Sunday.

The Great Escape!

You know, I sometimes sit up nights listening to the rattling coming from the hamster's cage and wonder what drives that beast. She has this overwhelming need to escape from her cage, and she's terribly noisy about it.

She has figured out how to remove the covers from the "toob" connectors, and how to jimmy her wheel off the cage...she has staged an all out war against her feeding dish in an attempt to create a hole big enough to escape through. Once I heard this horrible screeching sound and I thought sure she was being eaten by our cat only to discover she had gotten the lid off her "tower" just far enough to get her nose stuck!! Still...she doesn't learn and continues to eat plastic in hopes of someday finding a way out!

What I don't think she understands is that there is danger out there!! We have a dog who would gladly eat her in one gulp and a cat that would toy with her until she died of shock...not to mention things like the food disposal or the terrifying two year old! She is safe in her cage, she has food and water, she has her running wheel and plenty of things that AREN'T plastic to chew on...yet she persists in her neverending pursuit of freedom.

We are so like that aren't we? From the moment we can scoot across the floor the first things we head for are bright, shiny, and dangerous! My son, at the age of seven, is not happy unless he is climbing on our six foot brick wall or swinging by his knees from the top bar of the swingset!

We are like this spiritually as well. So often we spend our days, instead of pursuing God, pursuing escape. It's called justification. We want to waste time watching T.V. despite the fact there are thirty loads of laundry to be done. So we justify...I'm tired, I've worked hard today, I deserve this.

Sometimes it goes even farther...into internet chatrooms, or bars for "just one drink," or flirtatious relationships with a co-worker that isn't our spouse. It's that dance with danger, that relentless desire to escape.

What ever are we to do then, it seem this instinct is as built into our beings as it is into my hamster's...is there any hope??

As always, we must look to scripture...I love to look at the life of Paul. He was a leader amongst the Jews, and Jesus himself met him on the road to Damascus and confronted him. He must have been a pretty powerful man for our Lord to intervene in his life in quite so spectacular a way. Do you think that in some way Paul was trying to escape? Pushing himself to be the best of the best because deep down he knew he was persecuting The Best?

It is later in his life that we find that Paul has found the hope we seek. He says in Philippians 4:12 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." That's it~!! The answer we seek for our desperate need to escape is to learn to be content! But HOW do we do that! I'm a concrete gal and I want a 12 step program, okay? The apostle Paul goes on to give us that answer as well, in the very next verse he writes..."I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

The next time you find yourself justifying, looking for an escape from the stress of everyday life, chewing on plastic...remember what Paul found...it is contentment, not of our own strength, but the strength that comes as a gift from God that allows us to remain in the safety of His hand.

Goodbye Little Mouse...

Our mouse, Domino, after being with us only a short time, has met with eternal destiny. This past Saturday my daughter found it dead in it's cage. In her memory I am posting the story of how she came to live with us...

God Answers Prayers

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results. James 5:16b (New Living Translation)

You know, this day started out pretty normal.

I have been fighting a sinus infection for weeks now so it took a little effort to drag myself out of bed to greet the hustle and bustle of the getting ready for school crowd. Clothed, brushed, and backpacks on their backs, I shoed them out the door and went back to take my shower.

I forget what called me back into the living room so many hours ago but I never did take that shower today. I stumbled into the kitchen to get some Tylenol and turned around...then I saw it...the running wheel to the hamster cage was not attached to the cage and "Oreo," my 9 year old daughter's hamster, was gone. <> I did not need this today. Did I mention I haven't been feeling well? We put the cat and dog outside and my husband and I, as nonchalantly as is possible so as to not alert the 5 yr old and 2 yr old that were still at home (and, I'm almost ashamed to say, so engrossed in PBS that they barely noticed), began the search. We looked high and we looked low but to no avail...Oreo was gone… or a goner… but she was not to be found.

Fast forward now to later in the day… past the dentist appointment for my 5yr old…past the late lunch at McDonald's because said dentist appointment took MUCH longer than anticipated…straight to 3PM when my daughter gets out of school.

My husband was at work…I got the job of telling her…

There was shock at first (she just didn't say anything)...then tears (she is nothing if not a drama queen)...to which I, of course, being the overwhelmingly child centered parent that I usually am not, offered to get her a new hamster right then and there. Well, that cheered her up enormously and I thought all was well and the complete meltdown that I expected had been avoided.

Boy was I wrong.

We made one quick stop at our chiropractor’s and then to the pet store where we ended up spending $23 on a $4.99 MOUSE that was our replacement pet (different food, a new wheel, a potty for the mouse - did you know that mice can be potty trained?? I can't potty train my 2 year old but supposedly a mouse can be potty trained!! Maybe if I put the 2 year old in a cage with a litter box?!) We all trot home, clean up the old HAMPSTER cage and convert it to a MOUSE cage, and all is well.

Or so I thought.

Fast forward again …past dinner… past daddy leaving to work his night job…past baths and prayers… to the uncontrollable sobbing I hear coming from my 9 year olds bedroom. She IS a drama queen, but when she hides in her room to cry...well, that just breaks my heart because that's real...and here I thought I had avoided the crisis with some well laid bribery!

Darn!!

So I sat with her and rubbed her back and prayed for her to find peace.

She prayed to find the hamster.

I stumbled into my living room, plopped down on the couch, and was about to indulge in some mind numbing blinking box watching when the dog started barking and whining to get in. I grumbled, quite loudly, and got up and let her in. She walked directly over to our old computer closet and lay down with her nose at the base of the cabinet. I noticed this somewhere in the back of my brain, but I ignored her.

She was not going to be ignored.

She got up and ran around our dining room table about 15 times, turned in about 5 circles in front of me and then went back and lay down in front of the computer closet. Well, if any of you have met my dog, you will understand that this is not really unusual behavior for her...but it nudged me. I looked at that closet. I had looked in that closet this morning. That closet is filled with four years of homeschool AHEM...STUFF...that I have been avoiding going through since last JUNE...<>...I got up off my very comfortable couch and I took all that stuff out of that closet...no hamster...now I'm going crazy...and the dog hasn't moved. This closet weighs about 200 lbs and I can't move it, especially by myself, but I have just realized there is a crawl space under this thing that is about the perfect size for a hamster. Now I am at a crossroads, do I go back and watch TV and say I gave it a good old college try? I grumbled a little as I climbed into the closet. I pushed the backing off the closet. I got out a penlight and a mirror. There, under years of AHEM...STUFF...was that blasted hamster; quite alive albeit a little shell shocked, underneath the closet that I can't move and have about 2 inches of space behind. I put the dog outside. I went and got my 9 year old (it was going to take at least two of us to catch this thing)...SHE WAS JUBILENT...with my head in this closet using a mirror and a pen light and a stick we shoed and chased and cajoled this creature trying to catch it …it was quite a sight…to no avail when suddenly… I had a "moment"...one of those moments where you get an idea that comes out of nowhere and you know it had to be God…I went and got one of the tubes from her cage and set it on the floor...now she's a fat hamster and she gets stuck about half way up these tubes and has to push herself through them with all her might, and she can’t get out unless she goes all the way up and turns around and comes down...Well, It did the trick, she came running for home. And, as predicted, she got stuck.

I picked her up and put her back in her cage then I looked at my daughter (she was grinning from ear to ear) "You prayed, didn't you?" She nodded her little blond head. "God answers prayers, doesn't He?" She nodded again. "Don't ever forget that okay?" She hugged me and whispered in my ear "thanks mommy..."

You see, God Answers Prayers...sometimes he answers them with a crazy dog and a tired Mommy with a penlight and a mirror…God Answers Prayers…even prayers of a 9 year old. (and now *I* have a hamster AND a mouse living in my home....hmmmmm)

7"Ask, and it will be given to you. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you” Matthew 7:7 (New International Reader's Version)

Is it time for a check-up?

Every year, in my birthday month, I have an annual exam...I hope you all do too...prevention is the best defense against a myriad of ills. I have to admit though, I dread these exams with all of my being. I had one abnormal scan 11 years ago when I was in college and since then the dread of that bad report looms over me every year.

It just so happens that March is my birthday month and I just got home from this exam. It wasn't as horrible as I worked it up to be...it never is. In my head though, I turn this hill into a mountain every year without fail...for no good reason at all.

I was thinking (while I was nervously waiting in the doctor's waiting room) about how diligently we take care of our physical bodies, but when was the last time you had a spiritual check-up?
When was the last time you took inventory of your spiritual well being?

Cancer can grow undetected for years before it shows external symptoms. Spiritual cancer can grow as well, and we may not even know it's there! The awesome thing is that spiritual cancer has a cure! Jesus Christ came to into this world to provide us that cure.

So take a moment to reflect on your Spiritual health...

Are you reading God's Word on a daily basis? If not, why not? Chances are it's an excuse... so just get over it...God is and needs to be our #1 priority in life...His Word is His love letter to you, His guidebook for your life. You won't know which way to go unless you read it!

How's your prayer life? I know a lot of my prayers are quick "help, God" kind of prayers shot up in the midst of raising four kids, but I've realized more and more I need to take time to talk to my heavenly Father, and more importantly, I need to take time to listen. Put it in your dayplanner...if you fail to plan then you are planning to fail! Make a date with God and keep it!

Have you hidden God's word in your heart? I know, I know, I just can't memorize anything, I don't have the time, my memory's no good...blah blah blah...I've said it, you've said it...get over it. We need to hide God's word in our heart so that at the proper time God can bring it to mind to help us, guide us, or give us the words to help another. Don't look at it like you have to memorize something, just write a verse out on an index card and read it or, better still, rewrite it once everyday. You'll be surprised how quickly you will have that scripture in your heart! It's that easy!

And the kicker...How is your fellowship with other believers? Do you attend a good bible believing, bible teaching church on a regular basis? Are you in and out on Sundays or do you connect with people? Are you involved with a small group of likeminded people who can hold you accountable? Do you serve in some way...giving back a small portion of the amazing Gift that has been given to you? God did not create us to live on an island all alone...we need to be around other believers.

If any of these things are "out of whack" you may need a visit to the Great Physician who tells it like it is and loves you no matter what.

So, how are you doing? Is it time for a check-up?

Sticks and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails....

Our conversations around here have centered around boys a lot lately, it seems. Perhaps the birth of baby Michael is the reason, I don't really know.
Have you ever thought that boys are really aliens from another planet?

My son is one such alien.

He's the sweetest little man you ever met...

And he's stuck here in our family FULL of girls!! (even the dog, cat, hamster, and mouse are all female!!) Poor guy!! But despite the estrogen that flows through our home, he still manages to share many of the baffling traits that seem to be common to a great many boys across this nation.

A couple of days ago I noticed my son wearing a pair of underware that I had bought for him four days earlier. I knew he had worn them that day (they were soft cotton boxers...what's not to like?) and I knew I hadn't washed them in the past four days.

"Son, have you been wearing those underware since I bought them for you?"

"they're comfortable mom."

Enough said right? He has started doing this with most of his clothing. If it isn't completely covered with mud, or totally soaking wet when he takes it off at night...he puts it back on in the morning. He came out last Sunday with the clothes he had worn (and worn hard) all day on Saturday. He had checked his clothing choice with his father (who is, after all, just a grown up little boy, right?) who glanced at him and said it was fine. Until I saw him. I, being the very mean mother that I am, told him he had to change his clothes and wear something CLEAN to church. His father claimed he was just glad he was dressed.

This brings me to another point. Is my son the only little boy who wears all his clothes backwards?

Seriously.

At least every other day or so I have to tell him to turn around something...his pants...his shirt...his underware...Isn't it uncomfortable to wear your pants backwards when you're a boy? It doesn't seem to bother him in the least.

He also refuses to tie his shoes. I have long since given up and just bought shoes with Velcro or a zipper...but given shoes that have laces he will, undoubtably walk around with them untied all the time.

Another thing my son seems to share with the entire male race is his passionate love for mud. We have been having an unusually wet rainy season for this time of year and for weeks our yard has been a flooded mud pit! My son is in heaven! He just doesn't seem to understand why it's a bad idea to go cover himself in mud when he's waiting for the rest of us "girls" to be ready to go to the doctor's office! ...sigh...

Somewhere, out in space, there is a planet, where toilets have no seats...
where mud is considered soap...where shoes have no laces...TV's have voice command so you can't lose the remote...burping is a compliment...and shoving a stick up your nose is viewed as enterprising instead of foolish.

This is the planet my son comes from...