About Weeds and Life...

I had a really great day today.

I slept in. Really slept in. Seriously, I think it was around 10 a.m. when I finally rolled out of bed for good (I love a good book and warm covers on a Saturday morning!)!

We took the kids to the park. Dug in the sand some...threw some balls around...flung some frisbees. It was beautiful, not too hot, but definitely shorts weather.

Nice!

Came home, jumped in the pool (which was REALLY cold!! Brrrrr!!). Josiah lasted the longest in the polar bear water. Then we walked home. (Tim had to take the car because of his leg but I WALKED both to and from. More steps in my day. Are you proud of me??)

Got home from the pool and walked in the gate and noticed the weeds. Not the two weeds in the front yard that I pulled on the way in...The FOREST of weeds in the backyard...seriously, it was a forest.

HOW, you might ask, did this take me by surprise??

I never come in the front door, which is really on the side of the house behind the gate. I always go in through the garage. (except late last night when I came home with Sarah in Tim's car and realized not only did I not have the garage door opener, I don't have a key to the house, but that is a blog for another day).

So, feeling in a good mood, and not quite ready to leave the beautiful sunshine of the day, I grabbed a pair of gardening gloves and a shovel and went to work.

Now, weeds are a problem for any contientious homeowner...especially if you have an HOA...but weeds are much more than that for us. Weeds can be a death sentence to my daughter. She is allergic to, I am not kidding, 23 of the 24 common allergies in Arizona. She gets asthma from these allergies. She doesn't play outside a lot.

I started thinking about this as I was pulling these weeds. A good friend of mine, Heather once wrote about how weeds are like sin in our life and how hard it is to pull them out. I can't remember all of what she wrote anymore but this is immediately what came into my mind as I tried to pull these demons out of my yard. The first thing that I thought of was how deadly these weeds were to my children. Isn't that so true of our lives?? The sins we commit as parents are, quite literally, deadly to our children. I am forever hearing things I say (usually when I'm angry) come back out of the mouths of my children.

As I started getting the weeds out of the ground I would rake them out of the way and be amazed how many still remained. Sometimes we have to work out a few of the "smaller" (as if there are smaller sins) and "easier" to pull sins to reveal that there are even more and more that we need to work on. Not that we can remove our sins by ourselves, Christ did that on the cross once and for all, but we do need to recognize our sin and ask for forgiveness for them. And, even then, we need to be ever vigilent and accountable to not fall back into old patterns of sin.

I found it interesting that some of the weeds were easy to pull, and some were, well, not so easy. Some took a shovel, both hands, and all my weight to pull out. Isn't that just like sin? Some are so deeply ingrained and imbedded it takes A LOT of work to remove them from our lives.

I also noticed that the weeds that had come through the "weed guard" (ironic, huh?) were harder to eradicate because while the weeds came up through the weed guard but the shovel wouldn't go down through the weed guard to pull it up! Isn't that similar to how we do "things" to make us seem like the good church-going Christians we feel we "should" be and, in the process, make it harder on ourselves and others to be accountable to staying away from the sinful issues in our lives because admitting our problems would make us seem "less" somehow in our fellow brother and sister christians eyes??

I'm certain I'm not doing justice for all the thoughts that went through my head while I spent TWO HOURS of EXHAUSTING WORK eradicating the jungle of weeds in my yard...but through the same number of hours spent in prayer and confronting the Lord on the sins in my life and the thoughts in my head I feel just a little more tidy (like my yard), while knowing that I have a long way to go. My yard needs a landscaper, and so does my soul. Fortunately for me, the Great Landscaper, is ready and willing to give me a makeover and HE'S ALREADY PAID THE PRICE!! Isn't that great news?!?

I'm off to bed, I'm EXHAUSTED, have a blessed Sunday!!

Saturday Musings

Let's face it. I live a busy life. I have four kids...and recently, a husband with a broken leg, a full time job, plus all the responsibilities of a full time mom. It's exhausting on a good day...on bad days...well let's just not go there!!

I have been struggling to find a balance and maintain sanity...not to mention my spiritual connection with God amongst the "busy"ness of life. It's not an easy balance to find, less easy to maintain for any length of time. There is always the tyranny of the urgent that is abundant to pull me away from the best that life has to offer.

I'm doing a study on the Sabbath in Scripture. It is a Christian Discipline that has been largely cast aside in today's busy world. I work at my job as a teacher on Monday through Friday, and then often at night I am lesson planning or grading papers, or helping my kids with homework and projects and making lunches for the next day. It leaves very little time (and even less energy!) to do much "homemaking"...things like doing laundry or dishes or cleaning toilets! These things still need to be done, though, so often they get done on the weekends. Before I know it the weekend has been worked away and we're off to the next week of work and papers and homework. It exhausts me to write about it and that is my life day in and day out. Fortunately, for both me and my family AND my students, we get a two week break every so often. It is in the middle of one of these two week reprieves that I write this. I still spend a great deal of time doing the homemaking part of life but with the work side of life cast aside temporarily I have more time to reflect and just "be." I spent part of this time taking a five hour nap yesterday, I was physically and emotionally spent and my body gave me no choice but to recuperate. I think the biggest realization through my study this week is that my friend Heather was my Sabbath place. I realized yesterday how much I depended on her for a place to go that was peaceful and restful and I miss that. My kids asked me what was wrong yesterday and I just yelled, " I need to pack you up and go to the Nations' house for awhile!!" My heart was crying out for a Sabbath in the midst of the craziness and that was the greatest gift she always gave me...and she gave it willingly and without strings. I think that is what I miss the most.

So now I must go on to "find" a Sabbath for myself...and I suppose it had to happen, she couldn't be my Sabbath place forever (well, it would have been fine with me but I guess God had other plans!). I just don't quite know how to do that. I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to ignore the dirty socks in the middle of the living room. I find it hard to rest at home because there is always work looming in front of me.

That is the struggle I face. I don't have an answer right now, only questions.

Part of my study stated that observing the Sabbath is acknowledging that "God is caring for everyone and everything." Somewhere in my heart I know that is true, and yet my head is screaming "but God does not get my laundry done or my house picked up!!" Is that irreverent of me?? Come on, tell me you've never thought that...or something like that. Let's just be a little honest here. God has, however, sent me a mother in law who stayed for two weeks and cooked and cleaned and drove my husband to numerous doctor's appointments after his accident. I think I need a full time live in mother in law!! I've jokingly said to friends that I need a WIFE!! Until then, however, I will muddle along, with a dirty house, and dirty laundry, trying to find the balance between having clean clothes and having my sanity. I'll let you know what I discover along the way in this journey!!