Finally Friday!

Another week has passed and I'm not sure where it went...Work, doctor appointments. I just realized I never got the kids to their allergy shots this week. Ack! The plates are not spinning, they are crashing!! It's been an experience learning to live with children with chronic health issues. I have two children that require medication and probably will for the rest of thier lives. They require constant monitoring and frequent doctor's appointments to monitor their progress. I sometimes forget to do things like regular check-ups because they are at the doctor's so often. Now, my life has been complicated by my youngest dd's issues. She has something called hemoturia. In English, that means there's microscopic amounts of blood in her urine and nobody can figure out why. She's had multiple doctor's appointments, blood tests, urine tests, and an ultrasound. Everything appears healthy and normal...and yet there is still blood. So we move on to the next step...trying to get into Children's Hospital's nephrology (kidney specialists) department. It's exhausting...it's nerve-wracking...it's a full time job...but like anything that happens like this in life...life goes on.

In church last week we sang a song that really states how I feel right now better than I ever could.

You turn the key
Then close the door behind you
Drop your bags on the floor
You reach for the light
But there's darkness deep inside
And you can't take it anymore

'Cause sometimes living takes the life out of you
And sometimes living is all you can do

Life is hard, the world is cold
We're barely young and then we're old
But every falling tear is always understood
Yes, life is hard, but God is good

You start to cry
'Cause you've been strong for so long
And that's not how you feel
You try to pray
But there's nothing left to say
So you just quietly kneel

In the silence of all that you face
God will give you His mercy and grace

Jesus never said
It was an easy road to travel
He only said that you would never be alone
So when your last thread of hope
Begins to come unraveled
Don't give up, He walks beside you
On this journey home and He knows

Life is hard, the world is cold
We're barely young and then we're old
But every falling tear is always understood
Yes, life is hard, but God is good


Life right now is really hard. It takes a lot of work, a lot of stress, a lot of sleepless nights when my brain cannot turn off trying to figure out how to make my crazy schedule work...'Cause sometimes living takes the life out of you
And sometimes living is all you can do...But when life is hard I have to remember that God IS good. My sweet little blond haired angel FEELS fine now and she doesn't seem to mind going on "dates" with mommy, even if those dates are to a doctor's office. In fact, she seems to enjoy the uninterupted time of coloring with mom and reading books...She has "Green Eggs and Ham" memorized and tries to read it to me!! So I am looking for the goodness of God, in big and little ways...and trying to keep my head above water. "Jesus never said it was an easy road to travel, he only said that you would never be alone, so when your last thread of hope begins to come unraveled, don't give up, He walks beside you on this journey home." Is your life hard too?? Remember you are never alone!! Life is hard, but God is good!!

SNOW!!

I LOVE this picture!! They are running off to Heaven with the sun's rays coming down on them! I LOVE my new Photoshop program!!

Pictures as promised!!

Click on the top picture to go view the whole album and slideshow!!

New Year's Eve in the Snow!!

Happy New Year!!

For New Year's Eve we drove up to Flagstaff to play in the snow. This is not exactly a tradition for us, because we only make it about every other year but we have done it before and it is LOTS of fun!! The snow this year is spectacular thanks to the recent storms and we found a PERFECT spot for sledding and snowman making!! All Sarah wanted to do was have a snowball fight BUT only if nobody threw snow at her!! I'll post more pictures later but here's a preview of the snowman Sarah and I made!!

  

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I love about Heather!! This is a special TT that I'm hoping others will join me on...I'm going to pass it on to Laurie and Susan and hope they will pass it onto others as well. Heather is my best friend. She's fighting cancer right now and she's going to beat it because she is the most stubborn and wonderful person I know...So this TT is especially for her...don't wait until Thursday to continue the list!!! 1. She has an amazing love for God. 2. She has an amazing love for her family. 3. She is a terrific cook and ENJOYS cooking! 4. She makes a mean cup of coffee. 5. She always shows up at the right time with coffee or diet coke in hand. 6. She makes me laugh. 7. She loves me. 8. She loves my kids. 9. She sings harmony beautifully. 10. She is kind to everyone. 11. She always finds time to make cookies for a shut in or dinner for a sick friend. 12. She's the best doula in the world!! 13. She's the most beautiful person I think I've ever met both inside and out. I am so blessed to have had her presence in my life and neighborhood for the past nine (almost) years. I look forward to a million more years of close friendship both here and in heaven!! Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Poor Little Punkin'

This was the best smile she could give me!!

 

The saga began the week after Thanksgiving. Sarah started to act like she had a cold. She would spike a fever between 99 and 103 but then it would go away and she would be fine. After a week of this we decided she needed to go to the doctor. The other kids had been sick and it cleared up in a couple of days...she just seemed to be getting worse.

The doctor looked at me like I was a lunatic for bringing her in and told me it was a virus and to keep her comfortable.

It got worse. Her fevers continued to spike up and down now as high 103.8. Then she had a day with no fever and I thought, maybe, just maybe, she had kicked the bug. I was wrong. Sunday night she woke up at 10:30 with a fever of 104.4. I nursed her through it until the next morning and then took her back to the doctor. This time they ran some tests. They did a blood draw to check her white cell count, and a urinalisis to check for a UTI. They ordered a chest x-ray to check for pneumonia. In other words, they had no living clue what my baby had and they were checking everything they could think of. This entire time, her only symptomology is the fevers and a slight head cold. So they start her on Zythromax, a heavy hitting antibiotic that, they tell me, should cover whatever she has. Tuesday night her fever spikes to 104.7, I take her back to the doctor. The run another blood test and another urine culture. For the second time in four days she has blood in her urine so they change her to an antibiotic that targets UTI. Turns out, she has Mono AND a UTI AND they organism causing the UTI is resistant to the antibiotic she is on so they need to change it again. SIGH!!! At least now we KNOW why she was so sick. She actually seems on the mend today and not too much worse for the wear...Her tired mommy, on the other hand, needs to nap for about a month to get over this ordeal!!! 

O Christmas Tree!!

This year we tweaked tradition! We added a chocolate FOUNTAIN for our fondue!! For those of you that don't know, every year when we set up and decorate our Christmas tree we also have fondue for desert. We have done this every year since I can remember, and sometimes more than once in a year because Tim's parents have done this every year for as long as I've known them. The kids love it and it really rings in the beginning of the Christmas season for us!!

Click on the top picture below to see the whole album!!

O Christmas Tree

 

Thursday Thirteen!!

Thirteen Things I am Thankful for... 1. The roof on our house is almost done. 2. good health 3. good doctors 4. free long distance 5. our neighbor's Christmas lights 6. my van is running (I killed the battery yesterday) 7. my awesome church! 8. my boss (who is understanding when I have to stay home with sick kids) 9. my friends 10. my family 11. my kids 12. my husband 13. my GREAT BIG God! I sure am blessed!! Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Grief

Have you ever felt like you had a brick in your chest?
Like you literally couldn't breathe?
I think that feeling must be grief.
I've been feeling that a lot lately.
It doesn't help that I can't sleep, even with meds.
I've slept for less than 6 hours total the past two nights and it's 3am right now so that's not looking good either.
I'm exhausted and I feel very old.

Very tired.
Very weary.
Very sad.

I don't know how to continue on, I just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward somehow. I feel like I'm walking through cement. Drowning in quicksand. I look to the heavens hoping to see God, to feel some relief. It has not come. I feel like all the skin has been ripped off my body and the air hurts.

I cry out with the psalmist...

How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?


Answers aren't coming, and neither is sleep.

It finally happened!!

I knew this day was coming...and yet, I dread that it has come.

And in someways rejoice at it.

My daughter, who at a mere 11 years old is in sixth grade, came running into my classroom, out of breath, with three of the girls from her class in tow. She breathlessly exclaimed, "Mom! I HAVE to talk to you, outside, RIGHT NOW!" Mind you, I was in the middle of wrapping up a lesson with my fourth graders, but she seemed quite urgent so I thought it might be an emergency. I thought it might be a medical issue not uncommon to pre-adolescent girls.

I followed the four bubbling, giggling girls out into the hall.

That's when my daughter burst out "MOM! JACKSON likes me!!"

Stunned. I was stunned. Not that my baby, my first born, my INNOCENT little eleven year old might have a crush...no, I am stunned that she would drag me out of a classroom where I am TEACHING to tell me this. Stunned and kind of honored. Not every eleven year old would want so badly to inform their MOTHER with this information.

She thinks she's in love.

It takes me back.

There will be so many. So many heartbreaks. So much joy. Giggles, and blushing, and tingling all over. There is no other time like it in a young girl's life. She will never again feel that exileration, the spinning realization that someone she likes likes HER. It's a mystery, built into all of us by God, to propigate a species. She's like a whirling spinning bubble of hormones right now...ready to explode at any moment, into the teenager that she almost is.

Enjoy the journey.